Monday, October 5, 2009

Where the Wild Things Are

Homecoming was fun, I don't have hardly any pictures though. I know that's a little shocking considering you know....who I am....but still I just wasn't in a photographic mood.

This weekend has been a little odd. I'm thinking about goals, who I am, the choices I make. All of this has been brought about by something that freaks me out and breaks my heart all at once. I just hope that if someday anyone reading this is considering suicide, that you think twice. That you tell somebody who will help you. That you don't do it.

I don't know how I feel about suicide...really, I don't. As a Catholic, I'm told that I'm supposed to believe that it's wrong, that the Lord has a plan for life and death and it is not our place to mess with it. As myself, I understand having emotions so clouded that it seems like a good idea to end pain at the time, to just stop everything. From the perspective of "what if it were my family member" I cannot imagine so much hurt or so many questions left after a life that will never, and can never, be answered. I would like to say I believe it's cowardly or that I believe that it's wrong or that I think it's selfish, but I just cannot. I believe in a merciful Lord, one who understands human I also cannot believe that that Lord would view it as horrible. I can't bring myself to define a person who is obviously in intense emotional pain as selfish. I cannot make myself believe that it's wrong, when clearly at least one person views it as the only thing that's right.

Your thoughts? Please?


p.s. I'm not considering suicide, just to clarify


  1. I hope you are doing OK. Hmmm..well, I met this older lady once who's son had committed sucide and you know, it was so devastating to her and her family and well, I'm sure he would have thought twice about it if he'd known how things were. It is getting that time of year when people have thoughts like that. Our economy isn't helping that much either. It is a scary time.

    Thanks for the note. I'm so glad you had a cool homecoming with friends. Wishing you lots of fun times with them.

    Thanks again.

  2. Thanks so much for the comment..but as the story progresses..Nick worries more about wanting to tell his family about some more to unravel.

    Oh..its getting cold flurries this weekend..what joy...NOT. But I love the apple season and all. I'm sure you will have a wonderful Halloween time.

    I think we all have crazy thoughts about life and you know, our ups and downs.

    I know this week, I've been worried about a friend mad at me and then I spend most of my time wondering what I did..and usually, it has nothing to do with me...but still its there on my mind.

    And I know God is a forgiving God and well, I know I have to give more people chances too. But its still hard. Just the same.

    Stay warm!

  3. Heyyy hun :) I hope ya doing alreet :):)
    I think that some people do go through really emotional rough patches and they can't think of any other way to stop their suffering and so they come to their decision but I do wonder if they would go through with it if they did know the complete extent it would have on their families and I think that all in all that is really sad like for everyone included I mean. and I occasionally have little thoughts about life and everything like that..
    and omgg I can deffinitely tell winter is slowly arriving seeing as I have a cold and sore throat already and its getting chillier out!!

    glad ya enjoyed homecoming and everything!!

    loveeyaa :] xxxxxxxxxxx